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(510) 859-8147

(510) 859-8147

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Hello, I'm Aurora Quinn-Elmore

I partner with survivors of sexual assault

seeking safety, healing, and closure

Concerns You May Have

“I’m not sure where to go for therapy or how to pay for it.”

“I don’t know how to tell people about what happened.”

“I’m afraid of running into the person who assaulted me.”

“I’m worried they might do the same thing to someone else.”

My process is designed to address these and other common challenges. 

Working Together

My assistance has no financial cost for survivors

INTRODUCTORY CALL

Get clarity on the outcomes that you want

SAFETY AND PEACE OF MIND

Identify the steps you need to feel safe

YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK

Gather support for healing

PERPETRATOR ACCOUNTABILITY

Reflect on harm and support healing

PREVENTING FUTURE HARMS

Changes needed to prevent reoffending

My Promises to You

 I will honor you as the expert on how we can keep you safe.

I will protect your privacy and keep the information you share confidential.

You’re in control of the process and can pause or halt my involvement at any time.

What to Expect

More details on my process

YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK

Gather support for healing and accountability

Lets work together to get you the support you need from your network of friends, family, and other loved ones.

If you'd like to start working with a counselor to support your healing, I can help you find someone whose a good fit. 

Particularly if you and the perpetrator have friends in common, they may be willing to help us keep you safe and "call in" the perpetrator to willingly participate in an accountability and restorative justice process. 

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PERPETRATOR ACCOUNTABILITY

Reflect on harm and support healing

Once you feel safe and supported, we can discuss what it would look like for the perpetrator to be accountable for the harm they've caused. 

Many survivors want the perpetrator to: 

  • Acknowledge what they did

  • Apologize for the impact of their actions

  • Cover the cost of therapy for the survivor

  • Take steps to repair any social harm they caused the survivor

  • Agree to avoid events and locations where the survivor will be

  • Agree to not spread rumors about the survivor or undermine them

  • Donate to rape crisis hotlines, centers, or other services

You can choose to be part of  a restorative justice process with the perpetrator, or I can negotiate with them on your behalf regarding how they can make amends. 

PREVENTING FUTURE HARMS

Changes needed to prevent reoffending

Once they've come to terms with the harm they've caused, many perpetrators deeply regret their actions and want to avoid causing future harm. 

When perpetrators buy into an accountability process they can: 

  • Introspect or work with a therapist to understand their actions

  • Work with a therapist or coach to shift the beliefs, attitudes, and habits that contributed to their harmful actions

  • Identify, apologize to, and try to make amends to others they've harmed in the past

  • Work with their friends and larger community to stay accountable for not causing harm in the future

  • Educate others about how to avoid causing sexual harm and participate in bystander intervention

  • Support their friends, family, and loved ones who are survivors of sexual assault

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SAFETY AND PEACE OF MIND

Identify the steps you need to feel safe

Some survivors are afraid that if they confront the perpetrator or come forward with their accusations that the perpetrator might try to undermine their story or get back at them. 

Let's work together to understand these risks, take steps to keep you safe, and limit the perpetrator's ability to undermine or threaten you. 

If it is safe to do so, we may be able to recruit people who are close to the perpetrator as allies to maintain your boundaries (such as no contact or spreading gossip) and prevent the perpetrator from trying to intimidate or get back at you. 

INTRODUCTORY CALL

Get clarity on the outcomes that you want

During this call you can ask any questions you'd like to decide if you're ready to trust me with your story. 

 

If you decide to share your story, I'll listen compassionately and ask questions to understand what outcomes you want and how we can achieve them together. 

 

Based on the outcomes you're seeking, I'll share a set of resources you may find valuable and suggest next steps to move towards safety, healing, and closure for you and accountability for the perpetrator. 

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Testimonials

From a survivor I support

"Aurora was incredibly insightful in navigating a

difficult situation where a sexual assault took place

in the context of a relationship."

"Aurora has a tremendous capacity to act as a supportive, impartial mediator in difficult situations where

both parties have trouble seeing eye to eye."

Frequently Asked Questions

Understanding my process and offerings

Who do you work with?

I work with survivors of sexual assault who are:

  • Interested in taking concrete steps towards their own healing.

  • Looking for support building a plan to feel safe and supported in their communities. 

  • Open to seeking accountability from the person who sexually assaulted them if we can make it safe for them to do so.

What about sexual assaults committed by strangers?

The process I use works well when the perpetrator was a partner, ex-partner, date, friend, acquaintance, classmate, friend of a friend, or coworker of the person they assaulted. 

 

My process is less well suited for cases of sexual assaults committed by strangers who are not socially connected to the person they assaulted.

Do perpetrators really admit what they did?

I often work with survivors whose perpetrators have already apologized and asked how they can make amends. Many perpetrators deeply regret the harm they caused and are clear about not wanting to continue to cause harm. 

If a perpetrator denies committing sexual assault I ask for the survivors blessing to discreetly seek additional information to try to identify additional people who the perpetrator harmed.

 

If more than one person is accusing the perpetrator of the same kind of harm it is much more difficult for them to deny what happened. 

How do you make a living doing this

Once the perpetrator has come to terms with the harm they've caused they often seek to make amends to the survivor. I work with survivors to generate a list of asks that feel right for them which may include: 

  • Covering the cost of therapy for the survivor

  • Taking steps to repair any social harm the perpetrator caused the survivor

  • Agreeing to avoid events and locations where the survivor will be

  • Donating to rape crisis hotlines, centers, or other services

At this point I ask survivors if they are comfortable including an ask for the perpetrator to compensate me for my time and work supporting the survivor and facilitating a positive outcome for them. 

 

The survivors and and perpetrators I've worked with in the past have been supportive of this model.